Archive for January, 2007|Monthly archive page

you are such a loser

I learned a very big lesson for the rest of my life as well. The lesson was, winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday. But if losing destroys you, it’s all over. You’ll never be able to put it all back together again.

— from Wilma, the autobiography of Wilma Rudolph, the first American woman to win three gold medals

There will be few statistics today. No posting of hand histories. No hotbed of internet links (well, maybe one or two). Suffice it to say that I have been losing lately. And losing big. The last time I posted, my bankroll was over $300. Now it stands just shy of 200 dollars. (And that is counting the hundred dollar plus rakeback payment I received from BetOnBet.) Yeah, I have been running bad lately. And worse than that, I have been playing badly.

I came across the above passage tonight while I was reading a bedtime story to my son. I was reading from Listen Children, An Anthology of Black Literature. Although I was pretty well aware of the fact already, reading those words drove home the reality that I am not a good loser. Not just with poker, but with many things. Poker just sometimes brings out the worst of it.

The thing is, I had to know this was coming. From my study of the game so far, I knew that I was running abnormally well. Anywhere from 2-9BB/100 is commonly accepted as a sustainable winrate. For most of the month of December I was running around 20BB/100. That’s the positive side of variance. Yeah, I had a bad session or two during that time, but I always managed to recover. Most times, the same day. As a result, I was unflappable.

This time is something different. I haven’t shown a profit for any of 2007 so far. Okay, yeah, I know what you’re thinking… 2007 is only two weeks old. Well… yeah! But still, it feels more like two months to me. And I’m trying not to panic.

I found an excruciatingly appropriate post on The 2+2 Forums. I have been referring to it regularly. And, in an attempt to fight off my natural inclination toward obsessive-compulsive playing (Is 14 straight hours of poker extreme?), I’m exploring other interests. This Friday I plan to go to a little jazz club in Atlanta with a college buddy. I haven’t done anything like that in a while. Poker was supposed to finance the outing, but now I’m not so sure.

Also, I did take a look at my Poker Office stats. Not surprisingly, I noticed that it looked like I was playing way too many hands from early and middle position. That caused me to leak a lot of cash. I could probably pay more attention to the game, too. Trying to watch the latest episode of The Office, check my email, keep up with Yorkshire Pudding’s blog, AND multi-table isn’t the best strategy for winning poker. So from now on, I’ll just be listening to Jimmy Smith or an audio book of Beowulf (I must stay cultured somehow!).

Maybe I’m coming out of my slump. Today, I only lost $10. That’s an improvement. I think I may just be okay… if I don’t go busto first.